it's over

Alhamdulillah..

Everything went back to where it is suppose to be.Allah show me the man that i should be with throughout my future.insya'allah..

I am just glad that Im not in a confuse state right now.I definitely hate it alot.I dont deny that,yes,your feelings can change just with a blink of an eye.but it is about how firm you are about your decision and prayers by God.

I hope that this relationship can last long till the end of my breath.

I love you..

God Bless you..

Raudhah

A New Hope

The dust has settled. The tussle between forces have ceased. Many virtues was lost and virtual abstract damaged. Two warriors left standing. Battered and bruised. The princess then hold one of the warrior's hand and said "I've decided. To be with you, for eternity." The warrior look deep into the princess eyes to search the truthfulness of her words. Silence.. Then came his hand and grasp hers but he said nothing. Slowly lifting up the princess to her feet, still he said nothing. His grasp was tight but it was not driven by anger. It was forgiveness, believe and love that comes from the heart that made up the warrior's hand to be secured to the princess', protecting her. The other warrior can only look on and then slowly began to back off, smoke from the burning ashes of the ground engulf him in his retreat, disappearing forever. The warrior along with princess walked towards his stallion, waiting for in a distance. On the way, picking up his blade, wiped the bloodstains with a silk cloth. He stopped and looked at his sword as if it is listening. He said:

"The best man does not always wins. The man that wins, is the man who never say it is over, until it is over."

Then he said some prayers and thank Allah for his guidance, strength and blessings and sheath in his blade. When they both were on his horse, he asked the princess "Ready?" She nodded with a smile and they rode West where the setting sun is settling down. The end is the start of a new beginning. Praise to Almighty Allah.

Yur Heart is Not Mine to Keep

My love journey has been a roller coaster ride since i came back from OBS. I never experience this kindof complex situation in my life before. Its the combination of my fault + Third Party + Her fault that caused all this ruckus.

I jus came back from visiting her. She fainted yesterday noon n i had to take half day leave. I was super worried about her. But yet, i cant show her so much love cuz I dont trust her animore and we're taking our time off. So ya. No sayang2 no mushie2 stuff. She gave me a jolting birthday surprise wen i arrived at NUH. She was on the wheelchair holding my cake, while mira n khai was at her side. I'm touched. So touched. Yet i cant show my love. What i'm showing to her now is care n concern. Love is not there animore. My heart urge me so much to show love but my Pride is hurt. It'll take quite some time to heal itself. As i push her back to her ward and watch her sleep with all her "get well soon" gifts, I was telling myself, "This is the woman i love so much, but i dont wanna be with her cuz her heart is no longer longed for me." Soft strokes to her hair with her hand grasping mine and placing it jus beside her soft tender cheek. Once in a while she'll open her eyes to see if i'm still beside her. Hearing her cute snooring and wiped her drool with my own handkerchief, making sure she'll deep in her sleep then i take my leave. But not before slipping my ring into her left index finger and kissing her forehead. Coming back home, checked her mails and read one of the mail she replied to Oska. Its a long one but i understand. I fully understand right now. That even though after being discharge from hospital, she wants to "come back" to me, I know, her heart is not with me. Her heart will always be with Oska. Hurts me alot, but I have my Pride. No point loving some one who loves u but her heart is sumwhere else. No meaning to put yur heart and soul if her heart is not yours to keep. Pointless, Meaningless. I've been putting up a brave facade when guy(s) call u up and u answered right infront of me. Guys calling u out of the blue, calling u jus for a chat. For god sake u're attached. Yes proving to me dat there's nothing wrong btween u guys by talking infront of me but i dont like it. I hate it. I bloody damn hate it. If u dont understand den i'm sorry. U dont like when girls call me right. The END..

More Updates!

HeyLo PPl..

I've been bz lately.. With exams and all. First of all, I jus wanna say dat i got a GreeEAAT weekend with my Baby last week which is on the 13th March.. Even though I failed my MQC exam. AAaaahh.. Heck care lah.. Got retest wat..

Weekend
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I bouGht a Super Cool FujiFilm Digicam model SD2000 i think.. ahahha.. $500 bucks at the IT show at SUNTECH.. It Was f**king pack with ppl.. Super duper pack.. Read the floor plan first before entering the warzone with Baby.. Identify our target and we penetrated the think terrains of the IT show.. Did some surveys and analysis, finalize our plan and carry on to strike the target. BAM! Got it with a free Tripod, screen protector, extra battery, camera pouch, HD connectors. Worth it.

On Sunday before I walk in back to HTA, ate at Mac D and had a good laugh down there while waiting fer the rain to stop. Well, we decided to play bowling fer jus 1 game. Though my bowling skills is not up there, i still teach Baby how to bowl the proper way cuz her ball most of the time will end up in the gutters.. Haha.. But after a 'listening' to my advice, no more gutter-ing fer her.. Thumbs UP! Keep it UP Baby.. After that i wanna play arcade.. Sooo the very long never play.. I play shooting game ofcourse. Baby join along.. Haha.. Looks like shes getting the hang of it.. Cool! I got a shooting sidekick. Moving on, we headed to VIVO CITY to..... watch muvee.. haha.. wanted to watch "coming soon" but wasnt the right timing. So we watched Dragonball EVOLUTION. Jus a So So muvee lah.. But i enjoyed it cuz i watched it with my little Baby.. HURRY HURRY wen went home.. I jus remembered that i havnt pack my things for book in.. Baby helped to iron my shirt and pants while i'll chuck my stuff inside my bag.. At around 2015hrs we went off sending Baby home first before proceeding to HTA with a heavy heart. What a weekend I had with her.. It could be rated 10/10 if not for me failing my exam.

In Camp
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I got SILVER for my IPPT after a long vigorous, intense training. At last, a sense of achivement. Thank you very much to my OCT counterparts for supporting me all the way.. I really appreciate it very much. Very very much.. U guys know who u are.. The next great news i got to hear is, my Superior did some assesment to my MCQ exam qns, moderated it and from 9 failures cut down to 3. I'm not 1 of those 3. Phew! Phew! Phew! Syukur Alhamdulilah.. I dont wanna re-study the stupid book again.. A huge burden had been lifted. We left with Staffwork Exam and OBS.. But we all now POP mode already.. Hahaha.. Who cares a f**k about OBS.. I like lazy a wanna go OBS. 2.5wks leh. Beh tahan sia.. Hmmmm... dats all lah.. Tomoro book out day~! Looking forward to it. Now, going to bath, change up and go recruit's mess to watch K-Nite!! hahaha.. F.O.!! Hahaha.. Fly Off lah.. Dirty Minded ah U all...

Updates!

Hi all,

Yeah yeah i know I've been AWOL-ing from blogspot fer quite a while.. I've never been bz and tired at the same time in my entire life. Guess wat? ATTACHMENT! Although the attachment has ended, i jus wanna say I MISS MY ATTACHMENT PERIOD!!! Was attached to one of the NPCs in Juliet div. Started of abit awkwards cuz new stuff, meetin new ppl and new procedures.. As days past by, I got used to it. So used to it that I even brought the 'attitude' back to camp. During my attachement we get to arrest ppl, attend t ppls's enquiry, its jus basically getting the feel of how a real policeman life is.. And i can say that i realli appreciate those policemen out there who is have realli dedicated their lives to make Singapore streets safer. I realli do understand their situation. Its not easy. I'm gonna miss my team charlie.

Putting attachment aside, I had a hard time slotting time fer my Baby. At times i'll be realli2 bz tot he extend that i cud not spare a min jus fer an sms. Cuz from the 1st day of my attachment I was the 2 men. So I have to learn how to write the log sheet and use the Cubicon system as well. But i tried my best to msg u whenever i can rite Baby? Sometimes I do call u up and ask how r ya. I do think of u when i'm doing patrol. What r u doing in school? Have u eaten? U got any problems or not.. I cant rest in peace. I cant have toilet break in peace. I cant even eat in peace! We must always be on ur toes. I hope u understand Baby. I know u understand cuz my Baby is an understanding lady. Spending time with u has always been a habbit fer me. Your voice can cheer up my mood. Your presence can change my emotion. Dats y I treasure u alot..

Now back in HTA, i have trouble adapting to the life here back. I have to adapt to it again. I feel very very tired. To be honest, I've been sleeping alot since Monday. I realli have no idea. Maybe my body need to adapt to the HTA life back i guess. Now back to normal with PTs and Drill Lessons. S0 different life outside.

Even though my Baby didnt know that my internet connection is back online, (shhhh!) hehehhe, I jus wanna tell her dats she matters to me so much. We need each other in terms of love, support and encouragement. I love her alot. I dont like her to suffer. I like to see her excel in her studies 1st, then the things she like to do most. I have a quote:"Bie, u dont become a policeman can? U seldom msg me while u're n duty. I rather have u work as a normal civilian K?" Sooo the very cute.. Miss me so much izit? Dun werry Baby. Hubby didnt ferget bout u. Not even a single day i go about not thinking bout u.

I have a great girlfriend, a great family, great frens and a great life.. I like to thank God alot for what he have given me. Syukur Alhamdulillah.

La Notte De Cadetto

The nite we all have been waiting for.. Alot of planning and important decisions my buddy[SYED MD] has to make. I personally tank him and his welfare committee for their efforts in this Social Nite.

Before the nite itself, kena PT jialat2 in the morning already.. Shall not elaborate bout dat. Bonus knee jap was generously accidentally givento me by Kenneth aka P****Juice aka OCT3 treasurer, during the "tao pok" incident. Got a bit of swelling and bruise near my right eyebrow. Its gone now Hunnie.. Didnt wanna werri u..

Half day! Hurray! But no bike. Take bus home.. Haha.. Sad? Yes.. Half2. Sad=No Bike Happy=Social Nite. Reach Home straight go sLeep. Beh tahan liao.

Honey came to my House to dress up together. She look super sweet and elegant with the pearl neckless and white heels i bought for her with my GST money, which i bet she didnt know. I repeat again, you look super sweet, elegant and gorgeous Sayang. Well, arrive at the Grand Corpthorne Hotel's Restaurant "PONTINI" with Syed and Mairah. Suddenly, the spotlight was on me and my Darlin' u can take a look at some pics of how we dressed up. Well guys, "Old Man" isnt as "Old" as u think. He knows how to dress up for appropriate occasions aite. Shocking ryte? Hahahaha.. Dat was a surprise for u guys. As I walk wish my princess to my seat, jaws are dropping, hearts are aching and eyes are tearing up as how Graceful this particular couple was.

Speech by blah blah blah, another speech by blah blah blah.. Pictures! Click! Click! Click! Loove taking pictures! With my sayang and most of my OCT frens. Had some good food althought the chicken does taste like chicken. the smoke salmon and beef was full of taste. My first time eating those kind of hotel dishes. We talk among my table, introduce our partners, had a good laugh talking bout our 'habits' in our barrack and lecture theatre..

Took group pictures at the end of the day. Relax for a while after the nite was over den head home. Overall comment: Could be done much better. Alot of rooms for improvements. And a Salute my Buddy for making sure the even ran smoothly althou back in camp he said he didnt enjoy his social nite. Well bro, we dont need to be really enjoying, Bonding is the main thing here.

EOD Rating 9/10 (could have been 10/10 as not for the absence of my bike)

ENJOY THE PICS!

Baby~!

I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~ I LOVE U~

Guess how many I Love Us are there.. Nite Nite Baby~ Have a good nite sleep.. Sweetest Dreamz tonite my Baby.. =D